Girl, What is Your Problem?
This past Mother’s Day as I changed my clothes to have a nice dinner with family I was having a minor meltdown complete with neck rolls, finger in the air and pacing as I shimmied out of my shape wear. I was venting to my poor husband who just thought he’d come to the room to change before my brother came to celebrate with us. The wideness in his eyes and concern on his face can only be equated to a deer in headlights. It was not my intention to blind side him but I was fed up with friends of ours and their recent need to volunteer their negative suggestions to us on how we should run our business and conduct ourselves in our organization. After I poured out my frustration I looked at my husband for a response, a cosign, or a release to flip out the next moment I got. But he simply replied--I understand. We had dinner and it was a good night, but I could not seem to shake the sting of the entire situation.
Sidebar: Okay, real talk--I completely encourage you to pursue your dreams. I want each of us to pursue our God given gifts with relentless passion and zeal, but there is a downside to this that most people don’t warn you about before you pursue your dreams. It can be an isolating undertaking or put frankly just plain lonely. You anticipate the haters, but I think the turncoats are the ones you least expect. The people who once told you that you should pursue your dreams and encouraged you to be your authentic self are the same ones now tearing down your endeavors and your character every opportunity they can get. It would still hurt if it was just amongst themselves that they assassinated you, but the part that twists the knife they put in your back while they are smiling in your face is that they are sure to infect your potential supporters. They are even bold enough to explain that their unsolicited negative advice is just trying to make you a better fill in the blank (i.e., speaker, business woman, cook, or ballerina). So understand that after five months of experiencing this combined with the pressures of pursuing anything that requires you to step out of your comfort zone I blew a metaphorical gasket.
I spent all day Monday in prayer and meditation every spare moment I got. I needed to refortify myself. I reflected not just on my feelings but also on my monthly comparison of where I began this year compared to where I currently am now. I was giving too much power and energy to a situation that was a distraction not a challenge. The real issue was with me. So I had to ask myself the hard question--Girl what is your problem?
Driving in to the office Tuesday morning I had an epiphany. I have thrived in spite of constantly being told what I could not do by small minded people who tried to conform me to their ideals of what I should be. I have mastered turning this into fuel to accomplish my goals throughout my life, career, and business. My issue was, these friends helped rip open the scabs of past hurts I thought were completely healed. Places in me that needed to be unbroken were becoming completely exposed. Add to this the new position as CEO of my purpose and passion before the world and what normally fuels me began to plant seeds of doubt and frustration. I momentarily lost sight of who I am and what I have been called to do. I realize now I did not choose Unbroken, it chose me. I was content with encouraging and coaching people on a minute level. However, when your creator calls you out of a place of comfort into a posture of selfless discomfort to influence a generation to utilize their brokenness to accomplish their divine purpose; you answer.
In answering a call that is bigger than you it’s vital to remember who called you. Rely on your source because God IS; I AM. Who can stop what you have been created to be? Are you really going to allow people of questionable character and self-centered motives who lack integrity or knowledge of who they are to deter you from accomplishing your purpose? Are you going to allow people with no vision for themselves to tell you who you are? Are you going to allow your refusal to heal from the curve balls of life to discourage you from accomplishing your dreams, goals, or divine purpose? Listen no one can stop you from succeeding, but you. Decide right now that you are determined to WIN by any means necessary. Every successful person you see has had a season of pain, frustration, self-doubt, failure, and betrayal, but what has made them the person you see now is that they got up and kept moving towards their destiny. You can become who you are designed to be. Everything you need is in you and the opinions and actions of others are truly none of your business. You are greater than the sum of your broken pieces.